The Lord knew, the Lord had planned

It's amazing how the Lord directs our paths...our sitting and our lying down. 10 months ago, the Lord surprised us with a baby in my womb. She was not part of our plans but was completely part of God's. He planned the conception of Isabelle, He knew of the difficulties we would face the week she was born and He saved her birthday to be on the most promising of days, Resurrection Sunday! May Jesus be praised!
On Tuesday, April 7th, some major things took place in our lives...that have the ability to change a lot of things for us. Hopefully one day soon, I will feel the liberty to be able to speak about it and to praise the Lord for being our shield and our defense. So, when all this stuff happened, I couldnt believe the timing of it all. How could this happen when we are about to bring a baby into this world? We immediately clung to our Heavenly Father and began to seek Him in a way that we hadn't before, or at least for a long time. We have realized the importance of memorizing scripture...it cleanses us, encourages us, helps us to not sin, helps us take our thoughts captive, and it frees us. I have seen my husband on his knees more than I ever have...He has washed me with the Word so many times a day, He prays over me...it has been so scary but yet so renewing. And I began to think about our lil Belle coming into our lives and I had to know that she probably couldnt have come at a better time...a time that her mommy and daddy have been ignited with a new passion for the Lord, a new sense of "desperation" for Him, a knowledge that our time here on this earth is going to pass away quickly...we need to be about our Father's business...and an urgency to pray to God on behalf of our daughter.

With that being said, Esteban and I went out on Saturday, April 11th, to do a bunch of appraisals. Throughout the first part of the day, I kinda "felt weird" down there. Like I had to pee so bad that it hurt ...and I just kept thinking that I was feeling this pain/pressure because i kept needing to pee. After a couple hours of this, I realized that this cramping feeling was happening pretty consistently every 7 minutes, I believe. (It's hard to remember, but i think it was 7 mins) You ought to have seen Este's face when I told him I think I'm having contractions. I think we were both thinking, "we have so many reports to do!!!" There was part of me that wondered if I was just imagining things or if this was really it...well, it was and we had to get home so I could attend to my "nesting!"
We finished up the inspections and made it home and I began typing like a crazy woman. I would write down on a piece of paper each time a contraction would start. I started writing it down at 8:02 pm and they were pretty consistent with being 6 mins apart..and they were totally doable! I used to have bad cramps with my menstrual cycle so I thought, "hmmm...maybe I could do this without any pain meds!" I remember the look on Este's face when I let him know that this is the real thing. He wiped his forehead and just looked at me with his eyebrows raised. I then started acting CRAZY. I would start crying so hard and then at the same time, I would want to laugh hysterically....which I would. I even tried to drink a little water after having a crying spell and had to spit it out because I was laughing so hard. I think my hormones must have been dancing!
So in between reports I was washing all of our clothes...not sure why that was so important to me, but it sure was!
After Este had got the reports done that were due for the next day, I encouraged him to go to bed so he could get some rest and told him I would wake him when it was time to go to the hospital. By 9:20 they were between 3-5 minutes apart but more consistently with 5. I kept working and washing! Close to 1 oclock they were pretty consistant with being 3-4 mins apart and they were def. getting more intense. I woke Este up around 2-2:15 (after I had showered and "got ready") and told him it's time to go. He popped up and started getting everything gathered. Along with our already packed suitcase, I had a list of 'last minute items' to gather and he went ahead and got all of those....along with the trash I asked him to throw out:) It seemed so bizarre to be on our way to the hospital. I had so many mixed emotions. I was sad b/c of the situation we were in and also because my family was not around. I was scared...I was gonna have to push this lil mama out! I was excited to meet her. and I was TIRED! I should have listened when they said...resist the urge to do everything when you are going into labor. You need that energy!
We arrived at the hospital and we had to wait for quite a bit for them to "get the room ready." It's weird but my contractions seemed to have not been so close together at the hospital. I thought, "oh great! they are going to send us home." After they put us in the room, the nurse checked to see how dilated I was...i was only 1 1/2. I couldnt believe it. I kept telling Este that i couldnt go home. I had waited long enough at home to the point that i thought i couldnt take the contractions getting too much stronger....i just couldnt imagine going back home feeling that. They called my doc and he told them to go ahead and admit me and they were going to aid me in dilating more. I couldnt believe that my belle was gonna be born on Resurrection sunday. Este was reading the word to me most of the time...minus the time he crawled in bed with me to take a snoozer! When we got into the delivery room it was so spacious and great! They hooked me up to an Iv and the whole process started. All of the skills we learned during our classes...that I loved so much...yeah, I should have known we wouldnt have used most of them. During my "period cramps" throughout my life...i could not be touched while cramping b/c it would just intensify everything so much! i should have known it would have been the same exact way while contracting. Este was so sleepy and fell asleep and would offer a hand when I would start to contract...but i wanted him to be asleep! There was even a time when he got up and went towards the window and I thought, "if he dare opens those blinds!" heehee. Cindy and Steve were there during part of my early contractions. Steve was hilarious trying to figure out the contraction machine. Once he thought he had it figured out, the nurse came in and basically told him that they dont go by that b/c it's not correct. ALRIGHTY THEN! We got a good laugh out of that.
Well, the contractions were getting worse, so it seemed, and the nurse came in and discouraged me so much when she said that they were the same. She didnt encourage checking my dilation very much b/c it can potential introduce things into your cervix but said that when i was ready for some pain meds, she would check me. The doc didnt want me to have an epidural until i was a 3. I thought, surely i'm there by now. when she checked me, i was a mere 2. i couldnt believe it. how on earth was i gonna be able to last so long??? After this point, the contractions started getting so bad. One came and I was overcome with the pain...i couldnt breathe and i told este to get me something b/c i thought i was going to throw up...and that i did! i was in so much pain, and yet vomiting at the same time (and peeing..it was awful!) Usually when you throw up, it comes with relief but it didnt this time. it seemed as if the contractions would not end...they would lessen a little but not give relief and then another big one would come. I can't even begin to describe the pain i felt. at one point, the nurse came in and said that the doc said that i could have the epidural. i cant tell you how thankful i was! i had another episode of vomiting and peeing before they administered the pain reliever. i just wanted to kiss the anesthesiologist! It seemed to be immediate relief. I just wanted to lay there and smile...which I think I did. Soon after, my friend lisa and cindy and steve came into the room. I was able to chat with them which was nice. I remember telling them that i was scared for the rest of the labor. The nurse came in, i dont remember what time, and said that i was at a 3-4 and popped my water. Talk about a weird sensation! it was crazy...i felt the pop and este saw the gush. they placed something up in me to monitor the contractions. i believe it was within an hour or so, she checked me again and i was at a 9. the whole thing was so surreal to us. i began to feel so much pressure "down there" and i was so afraid that i was going to poop. i dont think i minded if i did while i was pushing, but to do it before while everyone was still in there...yikes! The nurse said she would be back in 1/2 hour to check. When i would start to feel the pressure mounting, i would ask if i was having a contraction, and sure enough i was! the nurse came back within 45 minutes and checked...she pulled up the sheets and said, "alrighty, we're gonna start pushing." She had este get on one leg and she was on the other. a contraction would start and i would take a cleansing breath, and then hold, tuck and push for the count of 10. it was unbelievable. she said i was doing good and it made me feel great....she had told me to push like i did when i went to the bathroom...little did she know i was an expert b/c of all my 'bathroom issues." anyways, within a few minutes they could see the head. i couldnt believe it when she said my baby had dark hair. it was just a little glimpse of what my baby girl was going to look like. Esteban was so great at helping me push and watching. the whole thing did not seem real. within 10 minutes the doc came in and he had me push a couple more times and my baby isabelle was born. I can't explain the feeling it is to see a life come out of you. she seemed amazing already. Esteban and i couldnt stop crying and praising our Lord for her life.
That's the story of her entry...what a doll she is. it has now been a full week since we have had her. The first night at home, Monday night, was extremely hard. Not an ounce of sleep did we get! She kept crying and i couldnt console her...that is the worst feeling as a mother. Trucking on with hardly any sleep, my hormones going crazy, the looming "situation," etc, i felt like i was going to have some panic attacks. Praise God that we have full access to Him at all times! The second day home, my friend Ceci brought us dinner and prayed over me for the joy of the Lord. After praying we looked at Isabelle and she smiled...the first smile i had seen from her...the JOY of the Lord from a little babe. Each day seems to have gotten easier and a little more stable. I hugely appreciate my friend, Jen, who has answered all my questions and calmed my fears/worries. Knowing that we are not alone and we are normal is such a relief.
One day this week, Este and I took belle out for a day of appraisals. she was wonderful. it was exciting to see that she can fit into our lifestyle just fine...it just takes some more time, but we can still do things.
One thing that has been crazy since i've been home is the constant sweating of my feet. I have no clue why, but my left one has been so swollen and so clammy. yeah, gross! today is the first day that it looks 1/2 way normal...hopefully things will get back to normal.
I went to the grocery store yesterday...my first time out and about without belle. It was very freeing but as soon as i got in the store, i wanted to cry! i could not wait to get home and see her. It's amazing the love that God puts in our hearts for our children. Every nap time, este and i are just waiting to go get her...she is truly a doll and we cherish her. It's so cool to pray over her and pray for her salvation, that she will stand up for righteousness b/c we serve a HOLY GOD...we pray for her mate that God would keep him pure for our belle. We have already told her what Christ did for her on the cross and the most precious thing I've witnessed is Este singing to our little one. awwww, we are in love!
anyways, that is a little recap of the week. please pray for us tomorrow if you think of it, we are going to meet with some people involving our situation and we need God's wisdom. Will post more pics soon...