my "not so proud" moments as a momma

you know, those moments where after you do them you think, "i feel so sorry for my child right now."
well there has been a few of these moments i have had since having my peppy girl 2 years ago.
one of the ones that stick out the most is one that happened probably a year ago. yeah, that's how deep it is scarred in my memory. anyways, i was cutting up something, i think chicken, on my plate to give to her. well, after i cut a piece off, i stabbed it with my steak knife and was offering it to her from the knife. how can i put this more clearly? the knife was about to go in her tiny little mouth when the light bulb clicked on and i looked up at este and he had HUGE eyes. lol. i felt like such an idiot!!!! i gracefully put the knife down and used a spoon...and prayed este was not regretting the choice he made in me :)
i'm sure several several more have happened but two happened yesterday.
esteban is juicing right now and peppy loves to help me juice veggies and fruits for him. she helps me wash them off and then takes bites out of them before she puts them in the juicer. usually when she is done washing, i tell her to hold onto the chair as i push her to the island to start juicing. this particular time i forgot to tell her to hold on and down she goes off the chair. she was shocked, i was shocked and the eyes that looked up at me like, "are you serious?" just broke my heart. do you know how tough it is to console a child for something you did to them. ahhhh.
as if that wasn't bad enough... later in the day, i thought we could play with water balloons. well, i didnt have water balloons so we made do with regular ones. we were so excited. we had finished filling them and put them in a bowl to take outside. well, im not sure why but a few of the balloons stuck together so when i tried to pick one up, a few burst into the bowl. still, everythings okay. well after we finished with the balloons, i saw that the bowl was filled with water. peppy was already naked by this time and the water was warm so i thought, "why not?" i said, "peppy, im going to get you." and i threw the bowl of water on her. usually she would enjoy such a thing HOWEVER i aimed too high and it was all over her eyes and up her nose. she couldnt breathe for like 5 seconds because of the shock. i felt HORRIBLE. i told her how sorry i was and then showed her how there was still water left in the bowl and she could get momma. she grabbed the bowl and said, "don't get me again." and gently poured the water onto the ground. i felt even worse because she wouldnt even get me back.
yeah, not so proud right now.