Dusted off

 You know how the Bible says that with the Lord, a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day?  Well, it has been close to 10 years since I last posted on here. It seems like both, a thousand years, but at the same time, only a day.  Over the summer, my friend referenced a post I had made and how it continues to encourage her. I was shocked.  First of all, because of how bad my memory is. (Welcome to the 40's!) I didn't remember the story she was talking about until she went into detail and then I began to remember it quite clearly. But, I was especially stunned because I felt like the Lord had been nudging me to write again.  There have been many times that I have experienced situations that have caused me to see a connection with my walk with the Lord. Or maybe other times, He has given me imagery about certain spiritual lessons. In the end, these things get lost in day to day life, never to resurface again unless I have jotted something down in my Notes app on my phone.

Alas, I figured I would dust off the laptop, update my forgotten password and take up writing again.  

Since my last post, I have moved to another country, picked up another language (maybe, sorta, kinda), became a pastor's wife and have met hundreds of different people from all around the world. Coming up on what will soon be a decade, I would say that I'm just a shadow of the person I once was.  Now, hear me out. I'm still in love with my husband, I still enjoy being with my children (except for the times they think they hate me...I know better😏) and I am still in awe of the love and grace of the Lord.  But I think in the course of the last ten years, there has been a bit of losing myself that I have continued to experience. A loss of "home" (not just speaking about a house), a loss of familiarity (even/especially in ministry), a loss of "security", and darn it, I've even lost a bit of my humor. Memes in a foreign language. Dead. 

To some extent, I can relate to Paul when he writes to the Corinth church. He says, 

"When I first came to you, dear brothers and sisters, I didn’t use lofty words and impressive wisdom to tell you God’s secret plan. For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified. I came to you in weakness—timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God." (1 Corinthians 2:1-5)

This loss, even though sometimes I do mourn over it, is not a bad thing. In fact, I think it necessary...trusting in the power of God.

I have taken much comfort in knowing that the Lord has called us, fully seeing and knowing our weaknesses and failures.  As a pastor shared with us this summer, "There are people that could do the job better, but God called you." Ouch and amen.  Oh, how it hurts so good. IYKYK

I will allow this space to be an honest reflection of how my sheer humanity can allow the strength and providence of our God to be on display.

Clink clink for what's to come.