BRISTOL HOPE

We have been a family of 5 for 3 1/2 months and it's still hard to believe.  When I had Isabelle,  I wondered how I could ever love another child as much as I do her.  Then there was Samuel.  He made me understand how that was possible.  So while being pregnant with little miss briss, I knew I'd love her just as much but having her here, doing life with us, just feels so good and right.  They are each so precious and special in their own way and they bring such joy and love into this mommas heart.
I wanted to reminisce about Bristol's birth so that I wouldn't forget.
The last month of pregnancy was pretty miserable.  I knew how much work was ahead of me once she came out but my goodness I was ready!  A week before her due date we still did not have a name.  A last name...yes. but no first or middle.  I guess it just goes with our personalities?  My parents were with us when Samuel was born and saw the mess I was  with panic attacks the first 2 weeks after he came (yay for postpartum hormonal issues :/)  So...they decided to come at different times so that I could have as much help as possible. Ahhh, parents are great!  My dad came on the 25th and on the way to the airport to get him, I began contracting regularly.  This had happened a week before but after several hours they let up and disappointment set in.  At first I didn't think anything and then once we picked him up I realized they were getting closer and were starting to get a bit painful.  We stopped at In and Out on the way home (which never is just in and out). As we were stuck in the drive thru line, i started to panic a little wondering if Id get home in time to meet up with este, make it to the hospital...AND GET A NAME!  Este called me as we were driving and I told him what was going on and he said, "hey, how do you like the name Bristol."  He didn't know but I had thought about that name weeks before but never brought it up to him.  I said, " i like it!" with a big smile that he couldn't see.  Ahhhh! We had a name!!!
Anyways, once we got home they began to fade...and again disappointment set in.  This pretty much happened for the next few days.  I was over it.  It was painful, I couldn't sleep but then they'd go away. I thought that maybe she'd be born on my birthday (27th) but it came and went and no bristol.  The next day I began having contractions (again) and this time it just kept coming every 3-5 minutes and they were getting really painful.  I was so nervous that they would end up leaving again but they were seemingly sticking around so I began getting everything ready.  I set up everything for the kids at home with notes and bottles and everything set out for my dad...yes, even instructions for how to use the tv remote (this would be a lifeline with the kids)  While I was getting ready, Este and my dad were watching Duck Dynasty.  This is the best show to watch...whenever. It's so happy and funny and a nice retreat for your head.  After I got done getting ready, I let Este know that he needed to get his butt in gear.  I had my dad take one last picture of me and my preggo belly before we were off.  It was so comforting having him here.  My biggest fear was that the contractions would leave or I wasn't dilated enough and they'd send me home. I just couldn't deal with going through all of this AGAIN.  I don't remember being in so much pain on the way to the hospital with the other 2.  I mean, i felt every bump and every turn.  We got there and I about smacked the older ladies "helping" me at the desk.  "are you in labor?"  UMm.  really?  why else would we be standing (painfully breathing every 3 minutes) if I wasn't?  and then they couldn't find mein the computer. what? i had totally registered with them AND had my other 2 kids there.  the lady, after having another lady help her, laughed and said , "oops i typed your name in wrong,"  I sure didn't feel filled with the Spirit!
We got upstairs and they took me right in.  The nurse could not find any veins and said that I might be having contractions because i was so dehydrated.  She was going to give me some water and wait an hour.  They would admit me if I had changed 1 cm in an hour. (i was at a 4)  I pleaded with her as I told her that with my other 2 i didn't dilate till i had my epidural (which is totally true)  Este and I prayed and my contractions began to get closer and stronger. Jesus really does hear our cries!  The nurse came back after an hour and checked me.  She "helped" me out a little and said "oh, you're a 5...lets get you admitted!"  I love her.
We went to the room and ordered up the best thing in all the world, an epidural.  Life just feels perfect when you have an epidural.  When that pain starts to fade it's such an amazing feeling.  Este put on some duck dynasty for me and told me to rest. We turned the lights off, he went to sleep and I tried to but I was feeling too good.  It was so great just relaxing. I couldn't believe that she was coming.  To this day, I think that this is my most favorite part of the pregnancy.  In no pain, shes about to be here and it's so stinkin exciting and almost surreal.
My contractions were beginning to slow a little so they gave me some pitocin.  After a bit, a nurse came in and asked if i was feeling any pressure. I wasn't at all and I was a bit surprised that I wasn't cause I remember feeling that pressure with the other two.  She decided to check me and when she did, my water popped.  all of a sudden i felt. the. pressure. I told her and she said, "well if it gets stronger, just let me know."  She left the room and it was so strong but I wanted to wait cause she was just there. I thought she probably would think t I was making it up or something. After about 10 minutes a handful of nurses filled the room and I realized something was wrong.  They began turning me and putting oxygen on me.  Este woke up to all of this happening. They had lost her heartbeat.  I was in shock.  After they got it again, I just began crying. I couldn't stop I was just so scared.  They checked me again and the nurse said, "she is right here! call the doctor!"  I wanted to push right then but they said I had to wait for the doctor.  What????  I asked how far she lived and they didn't know.  I was ready!  After 10-15 minutes the cutest Dr in the world...dr safie came in with a messy ponytail and tired eyes and the sweetest little voice.  She got her gloves on and let me push.  I think I pushed 3 times and my girl was outta there.  She gave us a screech that the nurses said they heard outside of the room.  That girl was mine and I couldn't believe how beautiful she was.  Our Bristol Hope was born 5/29/2013 at 5:19 am.
Bristol means Bridge.  Her middle name is Hope. This is our prayer for our girl...that she would be that bridge to pple bringing them hope in Jesus' name.  That she would proclaim His name and the beautiful gospel to many, many people. 
The next few days was quite chaotic and scary...dealing with postpartum panic attacks and then our Brissy was sent into the NICU because the nurse said she had turned blue and stopped breathing.  The thing that we want to remember is that our Jesus is the Healer and our protector and He has allowed us to bring a beautiful healthy baby girl home and join our lives...and for that we are so thankful. 

We were finally able to bring her home 3 days later and the kids met her for the first time.  It was better than I could have ever imagined.  It was instant love and affection.  And truly, 3 1/2 months later, it's still that.
What a beautiful blessing siblings are.
I'm one thankful wife, mother and daughter.  To Jesus be all the glory forever and ever.