BRISTOL HOPE

We have been a family of 5 for 3 1/2 months and it's still hard to believe.  When I had Isabelle,  I wondered how I could ever love another child as much as I do her.  Then there was Samuel.  He made me understand how that was possible.  So while being pregnant with little miss briss, I knew I'd love her just as much but having her here, doing life with us, just feels so good and right.  They are each so precious and special in their own way and they bring such joy and love into this mommas heart.
I wanted to reminisce about Bristol's birth so that I wouldn't forget.
The last month of pregnancy was pretty miserable.  I knew how much work was ahead of me once she came out but my goodness I was ready!  A week before her due date we still did not have a name.  A last name...yes. but no first or middle.  I guess it just goes with our personalities?  My parents were with us when Samuel was born and saw the mess I was  with panic attacks the first 2 weeks after he came (yay for postpartum hormonal issues :/)  So...they decided to come at different times so that I could have as much help as possible. Ahhh, parents are great!  My dad came on the 25th and on the way to the airport to get him, I began contracting regularly.  This had happened a week before but after several hours they let up and disappointment set in.  At first I didn't think anything and then once we picked him up I realized they were getting closer and were starting to get a bit painful.  We stopped at In and Out on the way home (which never is just in and out). As we were stuck in the drive thru line, i started to panic a little wondering if Id get home in time to meet up with este, make it to the hospital...AND GET A NAME!  Este called me as we were driving and I told him what was going on and he said, "hey, how do you like the name Bristol."  He didn't know but I had thought about that name weeks before but never brought it up to him.  I said, " i like it!" with a big smile that he couldn't see.  Ahhhh! We had a name!!!
Anyways, once we got home they began to fade...and again disappointment set in.  This pretty much happened for the next few days.  I was over it.  It was painful, I couldn't sleep but then they'd go away. I thought that maybe she'd be born on my birthday (27th) but it came and went and no bristol.  The next day I began having contractions (again) and this time it just kept coming every 3-5 minutes and they were getting really painful.  I was so nervous that they would end up leaving again but they were seemingly sticking around so I began getting everything ready.  I set up everything for the kids at home with notes and bottles and everything set out for my dad...yes, even instructions for how to use the tv remote (this would be a lifeline with the kids)  While I was getting ready, Este and my dad were watching Duck Dynasty.  This is the best show to watch...whenever. It's so happy and funny and a nice retreat for your head.  After I got done getting ready, I let Este know that he needed to get his butt in gear.  I had my dad take one last picture of me and my preggo belly before we were off.  It was so comforting having him here.  My biggest fear was that the contractions would leave or I wasn't dilated enough and they'd send me home. I just couldn't deal with going through all of this AGAIN.  I don't remember being in so much pain on the way to the hospital with the other 2.  I mean, i felt every bump and every turn.  We got there and I about smacked the older ladies "helping" me at the desk.  "are you in labor?"  UMm.  really?  why else would we be standing (painfully breathing every 3 minutes) if I wasn't?  and then they couldn't find mein the computer. what? i had totally registered with them AND had my other 2 kids there.  the lady, after having another lady help her, laughed and said , "oops i typed your name in wrong,"  I sure didn't feel filled with the Spirit!
We got upstairs and they took me right in.  The nurse could not find any veins and said that I might be having contractions because i was so dehydrated.  She was going to give me some water and wait an hour.  They would admit me if I had changed 1 cm in an hour. (i was at a 4)  I pleaded with her as I told her that with my other 2 i didn't dilate till i had my epidural (which is totally true)  Este and I prayed and my contractions began to get closer and stronger. Jesus really does hear our cries!  The nurse came back after an hour and checked me.  She "helped" me out a little and said "oh, you're a 5...lets get you admitted!"  I love her.
We went to the room and ordered up the best thing in all the world, an epidural.  Life just feels perfect when you have an epidural.  When that pain starts to fade it's such an amazing feeling.  Este put on some duck dynasty for me and told me to rest. We turned the lights off, he went to sleep and I tried to but I was feeling too good.  It was so great just relaxing. I couldn't believe that she was coming.  To this day, I think that this is my most favorite part of the pregnancy.  In no pain, shes about to be here and it's so stinkin exciting and almost surreal.
My contractions were beginning to slow a little so they gave me some pitocin.  After a bit, a nurse came in and asked if i was feeling any pressure. I wasn't at all and I was a bit surprised that I wasn't cause I remember feeling that pressure with the other two.  She decided to check me and when she did, my water popped.  all of a sudden i felt. the. pressure. I told her and she said, "well if it gets stronger, just let me know."  She left the room and it was so strong but I wanted to wait cause she was just there. I thought she probably would think t I was making it up or something. After about 10 minutes a handful of nurses filled the room and I realized something was wrong.  They began turning me and putting oxygen on me.  Este woke up to all of this happening. They had lost her heartbeat.  I was in shock.  After they got it again, I just began crying. I couldn't stop I was just so scared.  They checked me again and the nurse said, "she is right here! call the doctor!"  I wanted to push right then but they said I had to wait for the doctor.  What????  I asked how far she lived and they didn't know.  I was ready!  After 10-15 minutes the cutest Dr in the world...dr safie came in with a messy ponytail and tired eyes and the sweetest little voice.  She got her gloves on and let me push.  I think I pushed 3 times and my girl was outta there.  She gave us a screech that the nurses said they heard outside of the room.  That girl was mine and I couldn't believe how beautiful she was.  Our Bristol Hope was born 5/29/2013 at 5:19 am.
Bristol means Bridge.  Her middle name is Hope. This is our prayer for our girl...that she would be that bridge to pple bringing them hope in Jesus' name.  That she would proclaim His name and the beautiful gospel to many, many people. 
The next few days was quite chaotic and scary...dealing with postpartum panic attacks and then our Brissy was sent into the NICU because the nurse said she had turned blue and stopped breathing.  The thing that we want to remember is that our Jesus is the Healer and our protector and He has allowed us to bring a beautiful healthy baby girl home and join our lives...and for that we are so thankful. 

We were finally able to bring her home 3 days later and the kids met her for the first time.  It was better than I could have ever imagined.  It was instant love and affection.  And truly, 3 1/2 months later, it's still that.
What a beautiful blessing siblings are.
I'm one thankful wife, mother and daughter.  To Jesus be all the glory forever and ever.

Here's to being a busy momma :)

My desire is to blog ...every week.  I want to blog for a few reasons.  I want to be able to thumb through it and remember specific things that will slip my mind in time and I also want my kids to, one day, be able to read this and see how crazy in love I am with them.  However, a busy life does not create much time to sit down and type out blog entries.  I am trying to remind myself that spending time with my family is way more important than taking time to keep up on the blog.  Everyone always told me that once you have your second child, they never get as many pictures and stuff like that.  I think now that I have 3 kiddos, it's impossible. No way no how.  Too bad my time doesnt expand with each child like my heart does.
For a quick update, my Peppy girl is now 4 years old.  She's my little woman.  She loves to sing and dance, encourage and love on people, and she loves being a big sissy.  Samuel is almost 18 months old.  He's my cubby.  He's so cuddly and affectionate, hilarious and mimicks everything we do...especially his sissy. And then Bristol came along 3 weeks ago.  What a doll.  She is an amazing little baby that has already stolen my heart.  How can three little people each have my whole heart?  Being a momma is a blessing from straight from the Lord.
Peppy girl is such a routine kid...when it comes to night night.  Este and I have to say this every. single. night. One day, Im going to miss it.....
Im not going to leave, it's not dark, i think you should sleep regularly, i'll just go downstairs, i love you oh how i love you and night night.  You dont wanna watch bo on the go, wonder pets, angelina ballerina, the popcorn, my little pony or the soup because there's scary stuff in them.  We wont make any noise, it's not dark because you have 2 night lights and your ladybug and i love you.
she calls these her canotions.  hilarious this girl is. 
Samuel is going to be some kind of ball player.  He is already amazing at throwing a ball, kicking a ball, hitting a golf ball and dribbling.  seriously.  He also likes to sing...and sings quite a bit with peppy and myself.  He loves his blanky that he calls his "baby." and still sucks his finger just like his sister. ahhh.
Bristol is not even a month old yet and has begun to respond a few time with smiling.  I dont think the other kids did so this early.  She is on a good schedule and is not fussy most of the time.  She truly is a joy to have a part of our family.
Here's to being a busy mom with a lot of love to give...and a blog post hopefully coming sooner than the next year :)

10 months

My little cubby is 10 months old today. I can't believe it and I also can't believe how much we are all so in love with him. He has won our hearts over and we just can't get enough of him. I was holding him and rocking him last night...and as his body molded perfectly into mine, I began to thank the Lord for this precious miracle baby of mine. I then began to pray over him...for many things, but most importantly that he would be in love with Jesus. In the past couple of weeks, I have been drawn to this chapter in the book of Psalms

Psalm 127
1 Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

How true this is. Blessed is Esteban and myself for the children we have. May we allow the Lord to build our house...and may my laboring not be in vain.

Some fun stuff about my Sam Sam:
*He is a smiley little thing. His smile easily melts my heart in an instant
*He thinks Peppy is a comedian...even if she's not speaking, she's hilarious to him.
*She's his favorite, i do believe
*He started crawling this past month. So far, it's been fun. I love seeing his chubby legs going across the floor.
*Peppy loves to pick him up and carry him around...he loves it too, cause once again, she's his fav. *He loves to eat finger foods. Loves it. Loves it....
*He says mama, dada, we swear he said night night last night, nana, kinda hi, and he will mimic all kinds of sounds we make. He does more and all done in sign language.
*He can also be an angry eater....grunting and yelling when he wants more. He is doing much better with doing the more sign instead of his caveman like actions.
*When he gets excited, which can be quite often, he rolls his ankles and wrists in circles. Just thinking about it makes me giggle.
*He adores the kitty. and actually kinda says kitty.
*He has 8 teeth and in the process of getting his 9th.
  *He will give high five and clap
*He loves his blankie...and always sucks his 2 fingers when he has it.
*Lots of people think he looks just like his sister. I think I agree.
*He really enjoys playing with balls...and now that he crawls, he can chase after them.
*He likes chasing after sissy while I'm carrying him.
*He enjoys our dance parties, with our jammies, in our family room...he mainly laughs at us. I mourn the day where the giggling will turn into rolling of the eyes
*He starts jumping in my arms when i approach the office door...for he knows his daddy is close!

*He's going to be a big brother. What? Yes. Seeing how much our lil Sammy adds to our family, we are delighted to add another bundle of joy to the mix. All I can say is, Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus! You are so good to me!

Psalm 128
1 Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways.
2 When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.
3 Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table.
4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the Lord.
5 The Lord bless you out of Zion, And may you see the good of Jerusalem All the days of your life.
6 Yes, may you see your children’s children. Peace be upon Israel!

Injuries

When I think about what has shaved years off my life, my thought turns directly to ...injuries. I can't take it. My heart speeds, my breathing quickens and I am the antonym of calm in these situations. Praise the Lord my husband has been there, or close by, every time our little woman has been injured. Within a few weeks, we had to go to Urgent Care two times...both on wednesdays. First, Peppy was coming down the steps and somehow fell or tripped or something and we heard a scream. Just hearing the scream, I knew something wasn't right. Her ankle immediately swelled up and she couldn't walk on it. Went and had x rays and it was only a sprain. Was up and on it within a day. Yeah, 5 years shaved off there. The second injury: We were getting ready for church. She was in the bath, I had just got done curling my hair(hadn't unplugged it yet) and Samuel had just woke up and I was headed to change his diaper. As I was leaving the bathroom to get Sammy, peppy spit some water out on the floor. I told her to get out and go to her room...I kept walking. As I reached Samuels room, I heard something drop...then a scream that I will never forget. Peppy's foot had hit the cord to the curling iron while getting out of the tub...it dropped and she grabbed it to put it back on the counter. Burns are just horrific...especially to watch your child scream in pain for a long long time. This happened to be on her hand that she sucks her two fingers on. She couldn't even soothe herself. Poor poor baby. She got some blisters but we kept them wrapped and clean and they never gave us trouble. I realized about a day or two into it that this possibly could have been a blessing (in some sick and twisted way) because it was keeping her from sucking her fingers...something that had been an epic fail in this house for a few years. So now she only sucks her fingers while she is in her bed (even though she tells us she won't)...a big stride going the right way, if i do say so myself. I'd have to say this one shaved at least 7 years off.

The Sam Sam - 6 months

On the 30th, Samuel reached his first half birthday. I seriously could not be more in love with this child. This little guy is truly amazing. If my heart was able to smile, it would be smiling every time I'm around him. He is the best baby. Maybe cause he did his time of "fussy" during his first 3 months on earth but after that time was up, he bacame an angel. He is so chill, so laid back. We take him everywhere. In the car, friends houses, church, work, outside, pool, camping, hotels, restaurants...etc. So easy.
We did babywise with Isabelle and she started sleeping 12 hours a night by herself sometime during her 4th month. Well, I had basically lost my confidence in babywise with the Sammy. He was just a bit different..more stubborn and taking more time. At about 3 1/2 months he was going to sleep at 7:00pm and then I'd feed him (he basically slept through it) at 10:00 pm then hed sleep till 7:00. I had tried to skip the 10:00pm one since he never woke up for it, but it just didn't happen. I thought we'd never get there...a month late,r a few days before he was 5 months, i tried to see how he'd do going from feeding every 3 hours to every 4 hours. Ever since, he slept 12 hours throughout the night and hasn't looked back. I'm a happy momma that gets my hubby to myself after 7 every evening. I appreciate his support in encouraging me to trust the process of this...wouldn't have been able to do it without him.
So what's my little 6 monther up to?
*Sammy wakes up smiling or talking. I so enjoy going in and picking him up. He feels so good in my arms. It's like the Lord created his body to fit in the mold of my body. It's just so right.
* He has not been scared of anybody. Peppy was so scared of most men...not him. Like I said, he's chill.
* He loves grabbing and chewing on his feet...and those feet are so ticklish. I can get him laughing so much by biting on his feet, tickling him under his arms and under his neck. That laugh is adorable...and he finds his sissy to be the funniest of us all. she can jump and he thinks its the funniest thing ever.
* I haven't started to feed him yet. Why? I'm lazy and he's still cool with just breastmilk. Once I start food for him he will have stinky poop and I will have to start buying and bringing with me baby food.
* I can't believe I'm about to say this but .... he also is a finger sucker. It's unreal. Peppy...her right two middle fingers. Samuel...his left pointer and middle finger.
* He LOVES to be sung to. Especially "from the rising of the sun." He instantly starts smiling. He also loves for me to play the guitar.
*He has begun the grabby stage. I can no longer sit at the table with him on my lap without him grabbing everything possible. It happened overnight so it seemed. yikes.
*He is a daddy's boy. Anytime he sees or hears his daddy he smiles from ear to ear. It is quite adorable.
*People ask me so often if he ever cries. I lie. I tell them he has never cried or pooped.
*There's this precious smile/smirk he gives me that I'm in love with. He tucks his chin in and looks at me out of the upper corner of his eyes and just smiles.
*He has no teeth but has been chewing and drooling like he's about to get one for a few months now.
This little guy has blown our minds. Didn't think it was possible to be so in love with another child but it has happened. I love my family.


 

The Pep

I wanted to update on my most amazing three year old daughter. She is the sweetest thing ever. Boy does she get some attitude but that comes along with being a toddler. Right before she was going to bed, I laid down by her on the bed and she just put her arm around me and started rubbing my back. For a moment, I thought I was with my mother..heehee, not really but what a nurturing thing to do, huh? Anyways, she's a huge blessing and I wanted to share some of her recent things.

 *We have been walking up a HUGE hill called Tuscany Hills (a community) and this little girl, if she is not tired, can practically walk up the whole thing. Sometimes to get her going, este or myself will say, "I'm going to get you!" and she just squeals from the anticipation...but it gets her moving faster!

 *This girl is seriously the most amazing sister. She loves our baby samuel so much. She always wants him to be with us and cares so much for him. Sammy thinks she is amazing...she can get him to smile and laugh like nobody else. it's ridiculous.

 *Peppy loves frozen fruit...mango, strawberry, blueberry, cherry, pineapple. all of it. We love to make smoothies and her fav. part of making them is eating the frozen fruit out of a plastic measuring cup.

 *She is such an encourager. She's our Barnabas. She is all the time telling people how pretty they are or she will tell me how well i do stuff. like...putting the groceries away, "mommy, you are great at putting that food up!" i melt. I can picture her being one of those special friends that every girl wants...always complimenting and never jealous...just always so happy for you.

 *This girl can shake her hips like no other! Seriously. Since she was a little thing, I would tell her to shake it and she would shake her hips side to side but like really well. Now that she is older, she is a bit advanced and can do a "shake walk"... she does it while walking. it's amazing.

 *She also LOVES to make people laugh. I was in the nursery a few weeks ago at church and I was looking out the window. I saw peppy and her class walking outside and noticed that she was doing the "shake walk." The kids were laughing and the teachers were looking at each other cracking up. They had no clue I could see but I was laughing so hard inside the room. I love that she can be herself wherever she is.

 *When she finds out somebody is coming over, she gets so excited. No matter who it is, they might as well be the president because that's how exciting it is for her.

 *This detail about my daughter is crazy scary for me. I'm a planner. I like to plan my day..and for that matter, my husband's day as well. (naturally, he is not a planner and i'm so thankful he puts up with all my daily questions about what is going on the next few hours, etc.) Anyways, this has been passed down to my girl. She will ask me several times a week the details of whats going on that day. "mommy, where are we going? ...after that...then what?" oh man.

 *We went camping with our church a few weekends ago and something just clicked with peppy and she started putting her whole head under the water. last summer, she'd jump in to where her head was under but now she will keep it under and look and go places. maybe it's because she now has goggles. not sure but she loves to do it. she even does it in the bath.

 *Last week she sprained her ankle. it was horrible. she fell on our steps...those blasted steps....and we just knew that with a cry like that something wasn't right. she got xrays and we found out it was only a sprain. i think i cried more.

 *She told me the other day, as she looked me straight in the eyes, "i love you to pieces." She also told me last week after I had told her i love her, "I love you too, sweetie."

 *She has such a vivid imagination. One of my favorite things about her at this age. She is constantly having conversations with "people" and when she's gonna do something i don't want her to in the middle of a "pretend state of mind" she will say, "mommy, I'm just pretending."

 *She's got dancing in her blood. We regularly have family dance sessions. *love* and the girl has skills!


Her friend, Hannah, had a birthday party and had Peppy sit next to her while she opened her presents. She would hand Peppy all her presents to hold and Peppy totally did...without complaining.  For a moment, I flashed forward in time to her being a maid of honor supporting her friend.


Hannah got a Rapunzel wig...lol.


Sink baths.


The only earrings I allow her to wear...her idea.


This girl got serious cleaning.


We like to be close....so glad she does too.


"glamping" with the family


She fell asleep after coming back from urgent care. poor thing.


goggles!


seriously, not a cuter toosh out there!

 so much to be thankful for.

VICTORY

I seriously have so much that I want to catch up on and tell, I have a list of roughly a hundred things to jot down here on this world wide journal, however, I feel the need to step back from my desire to talk about how amazing my kids are and their progress as little people and mention an amazing thing that happened in our lives a week ago today. Not sure if you all remember this blog from over three years ago that I wrote. It has been a little more than 3 years since the hardest day of our lives happened. My husband was accused of some horrible things having to do with his work and charged with 23 other people in a huge scheme. The possibility was prison. Never in a million years did we ever think this would be part of our lives. In the midst of it all, the Lord began to give us promises to cling to. One of the main ones was 2 chronicles 20. You have got to read this chapter. We truly felt the Lord was telling us that we would not have to fight in this battle, to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. He gave us confirmation after confirmation...but three years is a LOOOONG time to stand still. There is so much more to share, I could write a book, but the important thing is that I want to declare that our God is faithful. I realize that horrible things happen to believers all the time. Just because we are christians does not mean that everything is going to work out perfect (in our eyes) however the Lord had made it clear that He was going to deliver us from this horrible trial. And that He did. Last Friday, Esteban was about to teach a bible study to some young adults when he received the call from our lawyer that they were dropping all the charges. Victory in Jesus! We have been through so much these past 3 years. There were times I prayed for the Lord to return ASAP or take Esteban home because I couldn't take seeing him in pain anymore. We went through people not believing in the promises that we felt the Lord had given us and planting seeds of doubt in our minds. Esteban went through the birth of two children that he didn't know if he was going to be able to help raise. We have been persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. Through it all, we don't regret a bit of it. Why? Because we got to experience our Jesus, His amazing, fulfilling Word and experience living by faith every single day. When I say, I know that I know that I know that my Lord is faithful..I'm being honest. He is good and He cannot go back on His Word. Praise you, Jesus!!