My parents left the day before Mother's Day and Esteban's mom, grandma and aunt were in Europe so my father in law, Steve, came up with a great plan to make my favorite thing (crab legs) for me on Mother's Day...woohoo. Of course, I loved the idea. It was a special day and it was topped off with a wonderful massage from my husband. He is so sweet to me.
Being a new mom, there are tons of insecurities that I feel...and yesterday, I realized a few of them. Isabelle is on a good schedule, but when the schedule gets screwy b/c of activities, she gets fussy and mom gets stressed, real quick. We went to church yesterday and her nap was broken up a bit and then we went to Esteban's parent's house and she ate sooner than normal and then she didnt wanna wake up out of her nap, then her next nap was cut an hour short....needless to say, she was a fussy lil one...by the time it came to put her in her car seat to go home...i had HAD it and i stepped away and had esteban come to my rescue and finish getting her set.
When we got home I was in tears. I felt very inadequate in my "mothering..." And then Esteban handed me my Mother's Day card and he quoted scripture from Proverbs 31...i felt like I was everything opposite of this woman. As I began to talk to him, I realized that especially when we are around people, I feel like Isabelle's crying is a direct parallel to me being a bad mom. He looked at me and said, "Babies cry!"
It's crazy b/c with the legal situation that we are in, we have totally been in the Word and have somewhat learned how to take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ...HOWEVER...i'm not so victorious when it comes to beating myself up about "i should have done this! what am I doing wrong? I'm an awful mother" ETC. I pray that Isabelle will grow up to be a virtuous woman after God's own heart...and that her mother has helped lead her there. Lord, be my strength!
As I sit here typing this, I see my lil girl in the monitor, taking her nap, swaddled...yet with her right arm completely out. How does that happen every time? no matter how tight we swaddle her, even putting her arms completely down, that right one always seems to make its way up and out! But it makes for an adorable scene, and it makes me smile :) I'll leave you with some pictures...
5 comments:
what a precious girl. And don't worry - i still get stressed when Colin's nap and schedule are all messed up but I've realized he does fine and we all survive. I think its usually me more stressed than him since it does feel like a reflection on your parenting when your kid is the fussy/tantrum one :) haha and usually its mommy whos that way and colin's perfectly fine :) you're a normal mom for feeling that way. as my mom keeps telling me - the only way she made it through raising us was a lot of prayer. it was nothing she did. you have a beautiful little girl and you're well ahead of everyone if she does so well on a schedule already. a lot of people i know it takes them months before they get a set one. keep the pictures coming!
Tifiny, Happy belated Mother's Day! I'm sure you are a fabulous mom! Remember, she's too young to know any better or to remember those times you think you've messed up. All she'll know is the love and security she feels with you. Schedules get messed up. Naps get interrupted or begin late. Feedings change as her needs change (just wait 'til a growth spurt and she wants to eat all the time!!!). She's still so young to be in a truly predictable schedule (and she'll change it once you figure it out, anyway - lol!), and she's still adjusting to life in the "real" world. When those trying moments come, remove yourself from the chaos and just cuddle little Isabelle and soothe her and spend some quiet time getting yourself back together (even if that means a little nap - for you, too!) Or, hand her to her daddy and take a few minutes alone. Yes, you need that time to take care of yourself so that you have something to give your family. (I'm still working on that one!) It's tough being a mom, but your faith is so strong. Got will be your strength when you feel week, and he's given you a wonderful husband to help you. Just take it easy and enjoy this time. Before you know it you'll be in my shoes....crying because your baby turned 1 in what seemed like a matter of minutes!
She is so precious! Enjoy every moment with her. And remember, you're not alone in this journey! If you can find a MOPS group, you might find it's a great time for you to connect w/ other young moms of babies/preschoolers. Once Isabelle is old enough for you to feel comfortable leaving her in MOPS childcare, you'll enjoy that "alone" time to fellowship and be encouraged by other moms knowing she's just a few doors away.
Praying for you!
Tamara Gandee (sorry...trouble w/ my google account login, hence the anonymous post)
P.S. - It was so good to see pics of your parents w/ Isabelle. I'm sure they loved every minute they spent with her (and you).
thankyou for your encouragement!
I love the last picture. She looks like she has everything in control.
G. Sprouse
Hi Tiff!
If her arm popping out doesn't bother her then great...but if it ever starts to wake her up, try getting one of these. It's totally worth the money...Eden LOVES hers!
Miracle Blanket http://www.miracleblanket.com/
I'm sure they sell them in stores around you locally but if not, you can always get one from the website :)
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